What the heck is an aphorism?  Dictionary.com says that it is:

a pithy observation that contains a general truth, such as, “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”.

Time to have some fun.  The people at SimpleTalk (part of RedGate) came up with their list of favourite aphorisms:

  1. The application was a complete success; the users were a total failure
  2. IT managers are not quite human, but then who is?
  3. Everyone wants to be like Linus Torvalds. Heck, even Linus does.
  4. Not everyone works in an office, especially the IT managers.
  5. Never achieve the impossible as a developer; it will be added to your list of regular tasks.
  6. All database deployments are easy until you have to do one.
  7. Don’t worry what others think of your code. Nobody thinks about your code
  8. We used to say “yes we can“, until we introduced Kanban and now we can’t any more.
  9. The sooner we start coding, the longer a project seems to take
  10. Just when we think our software is foolproof; the universe produces a bigger fool
  11. Improving the UX of the application was like polishing the fish knives on the Titanic
  12. The application hasn’t been deployed, it has merely escaped into production.
  13. It is amazing how long it takes to write any application other than the one you are working on.
  14. IT managers get where they are by hard work; often somebody else’s.
  15. Anything in your application that is configurable will soon need to be reconfigured.
  16. Whenever you think that the world is moving too fast, why not just put in a change request?

People have chipped in to add their own:

  • The quickly written “Short-term fix” will be in production use for 10 years.
  • There is no such thing as self-commenting code.
  • The simple solution isn’t.
  • Never try to solve an argument between two developers, you will only make it worse.
  • A contractor with years of experience will write worse code, quicker than your junior developer.


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